Last week, I was often asked how I feel about living in Darwin, and whether I like living there, especially in light of fact that I’m leaving.
Now, it’s quite apparent to me that I’ve been unsatisfied with my life in Darwin for a little while now. If I were to pinpoint the moment when things started to become undone for me, it would have been around May last year. Which is quite ironic, because it coincides with when I started working with the Northern Territory Library, where I’ve probably gained the most substantial amount of job satisfaction in the library industry.
To be honest, my desire to leave Darwin has been entirely about me - where I am in my life, and where I want to go. This was also the case, when it came to my reasons to moving *to* Darwin, back in 2006. Back then, I really didn’t have much of a focus for my life. Sure, I loved books and technology, but I didn’t have a feeling for the industry, or know how I could go about contributing to it.
These things I know now, which is why I need to go back to Melbourne.
But, back to the original question - how do I feel about Darwin? Do I like living there? Well, last Friday afternoon, sitting in my hotel room in the Gold Coast, the television was playing a Missy Higgins music video from 2007. There’s something so evocative about pop music, and I was reminded of a period of time from living in Darwin in early-to-mid 2007. It was a time where the weather was, for the first time, becoming bearable. I had begun to make friends. It was festival season - the dry season. I started developing slight crushes on people around me. I was “in the zone” with my creative endeavours for the first time! I had discovered the biblioblogosphere, and was regularly bombarded with new ideas for libraries.
And I really enjoyed my life then. Yes, there were frustrations, but I was up to the challenge, and wasn’t afraid of causing offence for the sake of the greater good.
Life was an adventure of discovery, and Darwin was a catalyst for this. I was seduced into a world of discomfort and contradiction, where I needed to make my own fun, and find the beauty in the sublime, because nobody else was going to do it for me. If anything, I really learned not to take anything for granted.
So, what’s changed since then?
Well, firstly, me. I know exactly where I want to take my career, and Darwin can’t do that for me. I need to surround myself with other like-minded people. I derive so much strength and inspiration from others who share the same passions as me.
But more importantly, I have so much that I want to share with the rest of the world. I want to get out there. And I’m not the only one - most of the friends that I’ve made over the past two and a half years have left for the same reasons.
So, Darwin, please don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me. We had some good times, but it was never going to last forever, and frankly, I haven’t been happy with you lately. Yes, you’re still beautiful, and there are plenty of people who love you. We’re just better off apart.
I won’t forget you, though.
