I’ve been in my new job here for almost three weeks, and I’m regularly being asked how it’s going. I regularly find myself reflecting on the same question.
To be honest, it’s everything I hoped, everything I dreaded, and nothing like I thought it would be.
Everything I hoped.
I love fiction for teenagers – whether it be middle reader, YA, crossover, or adult-but-the-bright-kids-will-read-it. In that respect, I’m very much in my element. I love talking to young people about books, and there’s nothing quite like the feeling of seeing young people get excited by books. It really is life-affirming for me, and that’s no exaggeration.
There’s also something about school libraries. They’re the safe place in the school. A place where you can be comfortable to be yourself. Nobody’s going to judge you for curling up in a corner for reading a book. Or for playing Magic: The Gathering around a table. Or coming in first thing every morning to read the opinion section of The Australian. I love being a part of that environment.
Everything I dreaded.
School. Thirteen years ago, I couldn’t wait to leave. Yes, I have a lot of fond memories, but very few of them were of the classroom or the schoolyard. Not that I had much of a problem with bullying, but there was a lot about school culture that I really hated. It was much easier to hide with friends in the library, or a music room, or the drama room.
Thirteen years after graduating, I’m back in a school again, but on the other side. The kids are great here, but I’m still feeling that sense of dread that I felt back in high school that I was in the minority and didn’t quite belong – a feeling that magically dissipated once I got to uni and found my own clique. It’s weird. And a little scary.
Nothing like I thought it would be.
I’m in a really unusual position, in that I’m a librarian, but not a teacher. I manage the library, but don’t teach classes. I believe that part of the reason that I was recruited was because I could bring an “outside” perspective in forming a new vision for the library in the future. Of course, I have many many ideas for new innovation, but they’ve all been formed in the context of my work in public and state libraries. But a library’s a library, right?
Well, yes, but the culture is different. Vastly different. I’m still only coming to terms with slight culture shock from moving into a school environment. Whilst the outcomes of this job are very similar to that of managing a public library branch (which I have done), the nature of the work is utterly different. Managing relationships with different teaching faculties. Working around various teaching styles. Dealing with vastly divergent attitudes toward technology. Different approaches to collection development. It’s going to take me a while to properly see the library’s services through a teacher’s point of view, but I’m having regular meetings and conversations with teaching staff about their thoughts when it comes to the library. Because it’s not only the students’ library. It’s the teachers’ library. In fact, the last person it belongs to is me – the library manager.
I also kinda see why you hardly see any school librarians at ALIA events. The industry is the same, but the culture is very different. In the coming months, I can probably see myself struggling to justify maintaining my membership. Again. Especially when there are organizations like SLAV and ASLA which are more relevant to my work.
Finally, it comes as no surprise that I’m already feeling quite isolated working within the school. I’m missing the regular contact with the community and writing industry that I’ve had in previous jobs. Fortunately, I live in the awesome City of Melbourne, where there are literary events almost every night of the week, and I’m starting my PWE course at RMIT with my first class (Novel) starting tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll continue to make new friends and contacts through these channels, to keep my creativity fired up.
So, how long do you give me to burn out? (It’s apparently better than fading away.)
